Throughout this blog I have often sought to emphasise the human side of fetish as it pertains to my present and future clients. What I haven't done so much is portray my own humanity including faults, foibles, and outright faux pas. I'm always professional, but sometimes even the best dommes get things hilariously wrong.
I once had a client who was into spanking and flogging, often for great lengths of time. Figuring out clever things to say during his hour-long spankathons was always a challenge. I was actually quite tired at one of his sessions, as I'd had a late night booking the night before, and had not consumed nearly enough Diet Coke before the booking. As I gripped my whip in my hand, I blurted out, "This will not be over quickly. You will not enjoy it."
For those of you who don't know, this line is taken from the film 300, which is an action packed adventure based on the battle of Thermopylae, which took place between Greeks and Persians. Its one of the campest, most unintentionally funny films of all time, as it features the totally heterosexual Greeks wearing tight leather shorts, and righteously manly Persians wearing loads of makeup and body piercings. There are a bunch of computer generated rhinos in there too, and loads of boobs that bounce in slow motion, so it's definitely worth seeing.
Inadvertantly quoting this line from what is really a totally cheesy movie was bad enough, but this is not nearly the limit of Darla's derpiness. No, what really put the icing on the cake wreck of Darla's blunder was that the client in question just so happened to come from the Islamic Republic of Iran, which just so happens to be the modern name for Persia.
I was completely mortified at my stupidity, but the luckily the client had a sense of humour. He thought the 300 and its South Park parody were even funnier than I did, and after a few minutes of laughing ourselves silly we managed to get back to the serious business of pain and domination.
This is why I've never been one of those "serious" mistresses who answers the door in leather and addresses her clients as slaves. I'm not a mistress, I'm a person. Neither are my clients slaves. We are all human and make mistakes and the best thing we can do is have as much fun with these imperfections as possible.
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