I was at the chemists the other day stocking up on all the things that make me pretty. I saw a poster detailing the NHS's "C-card" scheme, which, for those of you who aren't aware, allows people to get free condoms from their GP, chemist, or other similar institution. I thought this was a very good idea and would surely benefit the health of this struggling nation.
But then Darla read the fine print. The fine print excitedly informed me that one could get as many condoms as one wanted, in whatever size one wanted, and that there was a number to call in case one should get confused. I challenge you, gentle readers to find me any red-blooded Glaswegian male who WOULDN'T call up and ask for 5 million condoms in Double-Super Extra Large? I truly pity anyone working the helpline for this service, I really do.
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